Ode To Imposters - A Bias Toward Action

I spent a lot of time in the halls of the Eastman School of Music and much of it was spent worrying. My primary worry was that I was not the qualified to be there in the first place. I worried about everything: Is my playing good enough? Do I actually have the talent to back up being here? Will I get a suitable job after graduating? Was going to a top tier institution was worth it? How will long will it take me to pay off the student loans? Many faculty members and my closest friends encouraged and assured me that I was not an imposter and yet the feeling lingered. One conversation with a peer confirmed that I was not “Eastman quality”. What a relief, someone had figured it out. They recognized that I was in the wrong place. They saw the imposter masquerading as artist. 

Though an imposter, I learned a massive amount. Most importantly, I learned about the the habits and work ethic of the people that are successful in the music world. During a frustrating rehearsal a faculty member gave my combo this bit of wisdom. There are three kinds of people in the world: 1) people who make things happen 2) people who watch things happen, 3) and people who say what happened? If you aren’t a person who makes things happen and your find yourself in another category, you should work to move to the next one. 

My natural state is an observer. My training as an over-analyzer started early and is engrained in the culture where I grew up. Other tenants of this culture include resistance to change, perfectionism, striving for excellence but never telling anyone to guarantee humility, and staying in a pattern of comfort while analyzing a situation instead of providing solutions.

My case of imposter syndrome lingered for nearly 10 years after grad school and I’ve realized that this syndrome is alive and well at every place that grants degrees. Many people in  conservatories, state schools, and community colleges have imposter syndrome. And this doesn’t even touch iceberg of imposter syndrome in educational settings outside of the 4 year collegiate experience. Much of this syndrome is driven by cultural expectations and the lies that we tell ourselves about how good we are supposed to be instead of focusing our time and efforts on learning and growing. 

By all accounts I have been successful imposter. I landed a job as an adjunct at a small liberal arts institution and over seven years, worked my way up to become the Chair of the Department with additional responsibility as the college-wide Assessment Coordinator. A position I recently resigned to jump “off the cliff” hurtling me toward my new identity as a person who makes things happen. I have been all of the things I’ve written about including a navel-gazer offering solutions akin to thimbles of water while the house fire consumes the rafters. Thats why I started this blog. It the first step on the path toward my new identity. 

As one of my composition teachers taught me “the muse will find you, but it has to find you working”. If there is one thing I know its this: You will feel like an imposter even when you aren’t one. You’re bad at that thing you are working on until it lands and that’s ok. You’ll never be as ready as your perfectionism wants you to be. The growth process takes time but the point is that you get there. And when you do, do us all a favor and use the things you’ve learned to make the world better.

Blog Post Title Two

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

Blog Post Title Three

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

Blog Post Title Four

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.